Miss Tine Has No Job ....

Sacrifices

2009-08-06T18:15:00.002+01:00

Well, I've had the dates and it's pretty safe to say that it's been an interesting week.

Let's start with Sunday. This chap was actually everything I thought he could be - he was intelligent, cute, funny, charming and we had a really good afternoon. We decided to see each other again, and tonight was decided upon. The smartest of you will notice that it is Thursday evening, and indeed I am typing this, so something must have gone wrong. I'll get onto that...

Tuesday night's chap was also nice. There wasn't as much of a spark as on Sunday, but he was also funny and intelligent and quite good looking. It was a pleasant evening, but I don't think I'll see him again and think that's a mutual decision. The lack of contact from him since sort of implies it's going that way anyway.
So - back to Sunday. What went wrong? Well, for three days it was going well. There was an acceptable amount of text and verbal communication - no worries of stalkerdom but no ignoring either. We arranged to meet tonight, and then yesterday he texted me asking if I would like him to book us into the Gaucho Grill. Hmm. For those of you who do not know the Gaucho chain of restaurants, they are lovely. Great Argentinean steak restaurants with a stonking price tag on each piece of food. Don't get me wrong, I would love to have gone there, for a special treat. But for a second date on a Thursday? Quite frankly, that is a little too extravagant with three years of studying ahead of me.

So I rang him to explain that, although it would be lovely, I couldn't really afford it. In addition to that, I was feeling a little conscious of the fact that I wouldn't be able to afford to do stuff like that regularly, and definitely not something like the Gaucho for a standard, school-night night out.

He was very nice. Told me it didn’t matter, he would have paid, my circumstances don’t matter etc ... so an alternative venue was agreed, and I was due to meet him there after work this evening. I told him to think about it though, and texted him this morning to see if he still wanted to meet. The response was basically a no, but good luck with my life.

So is this it now? Through going back to uni and doing what I want to do in life, am I basically going to sacrifice a relationship and happiness in that part of my life? Who, ultimately, will want to be in a relationship with a 29 year old student?

I know I need to find a balance, make sure that I do still go out and enjoy myself while I’m studying and not become a recluse, resentful of my course. But in the same breath I will never think that a second date on at Thursday at the Gaucho is anything less than extravagant and so if that’s what blokes expect, I might just be lonely for a long time yet ...

Plan back in action!

2009-08-01T22:04:00.004+01:00

Well, having been told off for not blogging enough (you know who you are, LM), here I am. Sorry for my neglect, I've been a mixture of busy and ill. So - an update on my life.

I have a new contract! Thanks to one of my industry contacts, I started at a new place on Monday, full time initially and and it should take me right up to uni. Which is, quite scarily, just next month! It has come at a perfect time; I've started to have to eat into some of my uni savings to pay my bills which isn't good. Thankfully I put the invoice in yesterday, so should have some cash in my pocket at the end of next week. Just in time to pay my NI contributions bill, my housing benefit repayment and my rent. Working to live and all that ...

So, what else have I been up to? Well, as I said I've been a bit ill but am better now. I'm trying to get to the gym three times a week (tougher now working) and I've seen some friends. I'm quite lucky in that one of my oldest friends (duration wise, not age!) is working daan saaaf for 6 weeks, so we've met up a couple of time. He's great, The Boy Who Kicked His Shoe On The Roof, although he does give me a little grief for not mentioning him in here. So, here you are TBWKHSOTR, your moment is in. He's a great friend, has been a good, steady part of my life for a mere 25 years and managed to kick his shoe onto our primary school roof when we were 7. He'll like me telling you all about that but it's still how my sister knows him.

I've seen E too, watched lots of cricket, been to the Goldfish Abandoner's (who got engaged on holiday! Whoop whoop!)

Well, after my last rather disastrous round of dating I have arranged two more dates for this week! The first is tomorrow - Sunday lunch with a rather nice (so far) bloke from islington. He's got a good job, a good level of income (presuming he's being truthful in his profile) and seems to have a good knowledge and liking of both cricket and good comedy. Perfect!! I have a bit of a big zit on my chin, but hopefully that will go down over night (where's my toothpaste...). Oh, and before you ask, 5'10"...

The chap on Tuesday is at the other end of the scale... he's a 26 year old PhD student. Also seems nice, E thinks he sounds more interesting than tomorrow's chap but time will tell. He also claims to be 5'10"!!

I've decided that this is the way I have to go going forward. I either need someone who earns good money, or no money at all. It's people who earn an average amount where me being a student could cause the most issues, I reckon.

So, watch this space and I will let you know tomorrow how it goes.

Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics

2009-07-10T18:44:00.005+01:00

Right. I have covered honesty before, but I do believe that slight dishonesty is only natural. Especially if you're trying to create a good impression.

I am sure that in every internet dating profile there are lies. OK, maybe not lies, but maybe some stretching of the truth. I, for example, put myself down as a 'moderate' drinker. I believe I am, because I compare myself to the tramps sitting in Shoreditch church yard. I don't drink cheap cider before 9 am (in fact I don't drink cheap cider at all...), therefore I drink moderately. A hangover at work was not unknown, but it was not every day. I am also more aware that compared to someone who drinks a single beer once a week, I drink a lot.

I have no doubt that there are significantly fewer 'French' speakers than collective dating websites believe there are. I am sure if you added up the number of times people claim to exercise in a week and divide by five, you probably have a more accurate picture of exercise undertaken.

Trying to make yourself more attractive to people, especially when it's a dating website and you know that they are on there looking for that elusive love.

But then there are the lies that are pointless. The lies that relate to things that are obvious. The lies that relate to things that you just can't change.

A lie such as "I am 5'10" tall". This is fine if you are five foot 9 and a half, not so much if you are 5'6". I am approximately 5'7" - 5'8". If I am meeting someone who is 5'10", I have no issue with putting 3 inch heels on - OK, there is a danger that they will make me slightly taller than him, but he's 5'10" so he won't mind. They're nice shoes, and they elongate my legs - great when I'm wearing quite skinny jeans with a floaty top.

Sadly, this backfires when I can see the top of the bloke's head when I stand up. And he's not sitting down. A date is never going to start well if your first thought is "5 foot 10, my arse". It will not improve if his idea of walking with you is striding off and walking approximately a metre in front of you. Nor will it improve if he is that inflexible that he will not change the venue even when an office block in the next street is on fire and you are practically being smoked out.

So here I am, three hours after the date started, sitting on my sofa and finishing a blog. Having been to Tesco's on the way home and spoken to the goldfish abandoner, the parents and my sister. The wine is chilling in the fridge. Dinner will be in the oven in five minutes. I wonder what's on tv ...

Blown out ...

2009-07-08T07:45:00.002+01:00

Well, you might be thinking I'll be all excited about my date tonight! Well, you're half right. I am very excited - the ashes start in just three hours!!!

As for my date tonight with the potential stalker, well - he has blown me out! Through this website you can send an automated 'thanks but no thanks' e-mail to people, working on the principle that people are too stupid not to take silence as rejection ... but that is how I found out that he is no longer interested!

On the advice of the girls, I did text him asking if this meant he didn't want to meet up, and was told he basically didn't get the vibe I was particularly interested and wished me luck.

It's a fair point. I was looking forward to meeting him when we made the date, but his over-zealous texting for someone I haven't even met yet was making that diminish quite rapidly, and in fact I am more than happy with his decision. This way I don't have to meet him, and it has been done in a way that means I don't have to change my identity and move away ...

Sunday bloke is a definite for later in the week. In the meantime, there's the small matter of the Ashes...

Bad mood and itchiness

2009-07-05T12:19:00.003+01:00

Well that about sums up my day! For the last couple of days I have been suffering from a bit of a heat rash (the perils of being a ginger geordie in the south ...) and my usually perfectly (!) soft skin is raised, spotty, blotchy and itchy.

That, coupled with a night of rubbish sleep last night, means that I am in a bad mood. A very bad mood. I am very grumpy indeed.

So, I have postponed today's date. He was quite understanding and it is now happening on Friday or Saturday, hopefully by which time I will have returned to my normal silky-smooth (but still irritable) self and he might have half a chance. As things stand, I doubt I would have been there for more than 10 minutes before biting his head off today.

Wednesday-night bloke continues to text me, although nowhere near as much as he was doing on Friday night. I think he got the hint that I felt like I was being interviewed, especailly my rather dismissive response to 'what are you looking for? what are you hoping for?' text. What sort of person asks that by text before you have even met someone?! K the goldfish abandoner (not killer, as stated in recent blog which I wholeheartedly take back) put it perfectly yesterday when we went to the Tate - it's like I'm being stalked. Let's hope that doesn't continue! We're meeting in the City on Wednesday, so at least it'll be a public place. And if necessary I can get on the wrong bus home and then change so that he has no idea where I live ...

Positive thinking and all that ...

See the people, do the business

2009-07-03T19:32:00.003+01:00

As one of the great men of financial services once said. Yes, since the disastrous smoking squaddie on Wednesday I've been a little busy and have two dates lined up. One on Sunday, and one on Wednesday next week. I am indeed seeing the people, but have no intention of doing the 'business' as it were.

So - are these hopeful? Well, who knows. Neither of them smoke. Or they're not admitting to it if they do ... Sunday's seems quite shy but has a quiet sense of humour. Wednesday's seems OK, but is currently bombarding me with texts asking mundane questions ... could be an interesting night!

So that's it - I think I'll wait until after Sunday before arranging another one with anyone else as three in the diary is a little too much, I believe. Although if this bloke doesn't stop texting me things might change with that one ...

Disaterous Dating ...

2009-07-01T23:56:00.004+01:00

Well. I've had a date this evening. Putting chappie well and truly behind me, there was only one thing for it - I need to get back on the horse. As it were.

Right - before I start - you need to know a little about my dating history. In my life I have lived with two blokes. Cam in Leeds, who was one of the gentlest men in the world but sadly wasn't well, and after some rocky years (not just with me!), sadly he took his own life three years ago. The other bloke I refer to as 'my nasty ex', and after all in all about 5 years together, I saw sense and ended it.

Since then, I have had no 'significant' relationships. Yes, I've had flings, but no-one who I have deemed appropriate to spend my life with.

18 months ago I joined a dating website. Through that, I met Ed. If you've read a couple of these things, you'll recognise the name. Ed is now one of my closest friends. He was the second date I had through the first website I joined. Things went well for a month and then, when it came to the big 'where are we going' question - he was honest enough to tell me 'nowhere'. Now, I can't say that from then in it was all sweetness and light - I was gutted, and for a while the relationship was a little bit blurry around the edges but I saw the light (with thanks to E and the goldfish killer, amongst others). We remained very close.

Ed is the sort of friend that some of you will be surprised for me to put in the same category as BenjiBen. But he is honest and I can talk to him about anything. When I need an opinion, he will tell me the truth. When I need some support, he will be there to support me. When I need a cry, he will pass me a tissue and give me a hug. He is the sort of bloke who will be my friend for life purely because of three reasons. 1) Who he is. 2) My acceptance of who he is (he can be a little stubborn and selfish at times) and 3) My realisation about 14 months ago that if we had stayed together he would have driven me mad by now and I would hate him. But for who he is now, and what he brings to my life, I am eternally grateful.

Then the next 'fling' after that was L. Now L is lovely, we had a really nice couple of months chatting, laughing, putting the world to rights etc. We remain good friends now, but there was one fundamental issue with L and that was that he was (and remains) 5 years younger than me. It's not the age as such, but we were in different life stages when we were together, and although we had a lovely time it wasn't going to work out for that reason. I'm not as close to him as I am with Ed, I think possibly because on an 'imbalance' discussed in a previous posting, but he is a good friend and I am happy to know him.

Then there was chappie. No need to go into that one ...

Tonight, I met my first date off a new website. On paper he seemed OK. When we met he was shorter than he'd promised, and looked a little bit like a weasel - he really did need a good meal inside him. It turned out what he didn't mention in his ad was his smoking, ex-army mentality. And the fact he was an idiot. Now don't get me wrong, I can sit and talk to anyone for a couple of hours, but this bloke was even pushing my tolerance. I was going to blog about what a twat he was, but there seems very little point, other than to say that I will not insult your intelligence to recount his views on a) cricket (!), b) immigration and c) (the worst one for me!) - radiographers.

Idiot, that's all I can say. I won't be seeing him again though, although he doesn't know that yet (I didn't promise him a second date, don't worry!)

It's just nights like that that makes me wonder why I bother. Yes, I know why I bother - life is better if a) you've got someone to enjoy it with and b) you're having some good sex. I think from now on I need to be a little more selective. Maybe ask them if they've ever been in the army before the first drink...

Next date with bloke 2 is on Sunday. We're having coffee in Soho. This one is very into cricket - fingers crossed, eh!

Onwards and upwards ...

2009-06-27T19:10:00.002+01:00

Well, after spending my last day in the office, I've had rather a productive day today. Firstly, I managed to negotiate a little bit more work out of the place that made me redundant in the first place in the form of a one-off project. I'll be working from home so no more having-to-get up-in-the-morning and it should give me something to do in the next week.

I also need to chase more contracts, fingers crossed, but as it would appear that it's going to be a glorious couple of weeks (if the met office are to be believed...), I should have a good week.

To be honest, it's great leaving that place. Yes, I like the people and yes, I have appreciated the money, but I am so pleased that I won't have to go back into that office again. Although I probably will at the end of my new little project, but it will be on my terms!!!

So I'm back to my days of doing what I want, when I want to do it. I also made the decision this week to put chappie totally behind me and have got myself back on the internet on another dating website. It's going OK so far, I have got one date lined up for midweek, and hopefully will have another soon with another chap that seems quite interesting.

So things are change yet again, and hopefully I'm moving forward. I'll be heading to the gym first thing in the morning to keep that momentum up, and things are on the move!

Balance...

2009-06-23T17:56:00.006+01:00

I have been thinking a lot about balance this week. The balance between work and play; the balance between a sobriety and merriment and the balance within relationships.

I suppose before I go any further I need to impart a little bit of news to you. Since my last blog, and indeed the romantic weekend away in Canterbury (which was nice), Chappie has decided that I am, indeed, not the girl for him and I've been thrust back into the world of singledom once again.

The thing about relationships is that there is always going to be an imbalance. For the majority of the time, one party is going to care for the other more than they do for them. That's only natural. Often the balance of support changes within a relationship, depending on other factors going on within their lives at that time. The important thing is that both parties need to share a few fundamental beliefs. Both, for example, need to at least have the basic levels of feelings for one another. Both need to share the belief that there is something within the relationship that is worthy of continuing. Both need to understand that relationships are about compromise and give-and-take. If one (or more) of these is missing, then it will never work and almost without exception, the person who has the emotionally heavier imbalance will come out the most hurt.

The main key in any relationship is honesty. No matter how the balancing act is panning out, without at least 90% honesty in any relationship then things (again) will just not work. Even the easiest relationship can be hard at times, but it is impossible if one party is being dishonest, through their words or actions. And when things change, and the dishonesty becomes apparent, again it is the person on the receiving end of the words and actions that becomes the most hurt.

So there you are. Relationships in a nutshell by the girl who is apparently incapable of being in one.

As for the balance of work and play, I thought I'd got it down to a fine art until yesterday. Working 3 days a week has allowed me to step up my gym attendance again. The money has been fantastic - SO much better than the benefits system!! Unfortunately, it would appear that the 'work' element of this particular sea-saw has stopped playing and headed off home and this Friday will be the last day of my contract at my old place of work. Yes, it lasted for 3 weeks longer than I thought it would, but as of next week I will be back in full time unemployment.

I need to get my arse into gear and find more work. Having been off benefits for as long as I was on them, I really don't want to have to head back to the job centre and go through all of that again. But, again, I need my savings for my uni course (which, incidentally, they have deemed me fit for, so bring on September!). Again, I really don't know what to do.

I'm off to the gym now, so I will give it some thought as I'm peddling away. I'll make some phonecalls too - do some chasing. Let's see what happens!

Bye for now.

I am slack ...

2009-06-10T21:29:00.002+01:00

Aren't I! 25th of May was my last blog, that's weeks ago! So, I apologise and hopefully this will fill you in on the most recent events in my life and, most importantly, my unemployment.

Well, my contract ended at the end of last week, but thankfully they want to keep me on on a week-by-week basis. This is largely positive - it's money at a good rate and it's basically keeping the wolves from the door. At three days a week I still have some flexibility too, and I am able to do stuff I want to. Go to the Twenty20 World Cup, for example - or at least watch it on TV.

I say largely positive, because I still feel a little negative about it. Remembering that these are the people that made me redundant, of course, and have given me a lot of stress in the last two and a half months. But it's money, and it's easy money because I know the clients and the people I work with. But in a way, it's like I've never left (apart from the pay off) and there is a little element of wasting my summer.

There is potential for other contracts that I keep chasing, but at the moment there seems to be a problem with companies not really wanting to spend the money, no matter how much it will help them. I'll keep trying though.

OK, so it's time to put my feelings on the table. I am not feeling at my most positive at the moment. The office is getting me down a bit, London is starting to grow on me again a little (when the buses aren't packed because of the tube strike) and I have been ill for the last week. Nasty ill too - felt like something was 'coming on' last week and BAM - ear infection making me sick for a day and then just causing pain for the rest of the time.

But it does appear to be on the mend, and hopefully I'll be back on my planned exercise regime soon to get some endorphins pumping around my body and (most importantly) some flab removing itself from my ribs ... That hasn't been going too well as late. And it needs to, as I have told the university that I'm a stone lighter than I am. Not on purpose, I just guessed on a form and when I got to weigh myself it turns out I am heavier than I thought I was ...

Anyway - that's me basically. Feeling a little bit crappy about life. Things with chappie are going ok, although I'm worrying about things a little which is probably shooting myself in the foot. We're off to Canterbury for the weekend on Friday, which will be nice. Spending some quality time together outside London is probably well overdue.

In fact, I think me getting out of London is long overdue. Anyway. On a good note, I've bought a great SLR on eBay, so I'm going to be out and about taking some great photos this summer, and I can't wait. I used to love photography before my dad took his camera back, and this is my chance to really get back into it. With a vengance ... I'm getting addicted to buying lenses...

So look out for that. And it the meantime, I promise to cheer up and bit and get happier about things. Promise.

Sleep

2009-05-25T23:11:00.004+01:00

What is it about sleep. Most importantly, why am I having so many difficulties with it at the moment?

OK, so there's the obvious. Yesterday I witnessed (on tv) the most depressing moment in my Geordie life as Newcastle got relagated to the championship. But then I'm gutted, but it's not playing on my mind. What else? Chappie's been staying over a bit, and sometimes it can be strange to have someone else in your bed, but then I'm sleeping badly when i'm on my own, so that isn't the answer. It's hot. True. Women's things? Possibly.

Either way, I'm struggling to both get to sleep and stay asleep when I'm there. My dreams are a little crazy, and although I haven't looked them up, I know what they mean. Lots of arguments and finding it hard to walk through things. I'm obviously unhappy and feel that something's holding me back. There you go.

So - work. Less than two weeks before the end of my contract. Nothing more on the cards as yet, although there is the possibility of another one with another contact if we can agree fees (my e-mail demanding twice what they were offering might not have gone down too well...). I suppose in that respect I'm a little up in the air.

I suppose also I'm strugging a bit with living here at the moment too. I'm sort of bored with London, and the house. I'm finding it a bit tough to make small talk (not good when we had a bbq with a load of people yesterday - I went out as early as I could). But then I'm not too bothered to the extent I'll be making me stay awake; I'm just keeping myself to myself.

So maybe it is a couple of things. Either way, it's almost midnight and I have work tomorrow. I need to grab my book and read for a bit to send me to sleep. Ha. I almost had me convinced then!!! I think I'll lie around for a couple of hours, getting angry that I can't sleep more. Then same time tomorrow, folks?

Self employment

2009-05-20T22:14:00.002+01:00

Well, it's been a week since I became self employed, and so far it's going OK! I'm up to date with all my paperwork, have invoiced the people I need to for the work I did last week, and things seem to be going OK.

In fact, life seems to be going OK. Life with chappy is going well, in fact very well without wanting to curse anything. I had a very productive day today; lots of sorting, lots of washing and had my hair cut and D, K and I concreted the path in the garden. Oh yes, very productive as you can see. What D doesn't know is that it took us 1.5 hours, for which he will be receiving an invoice by the end of the week.

The only concern I have at the moment is where my next contract is going to come from. I have chased my contacts, and I now need to work out a proper strategy for an income going forward. I have my business cards through, so I now just have to hand them out to people that might want to employ me!

Of course the last week has been a bit strange. Going back into the office of the company that made you redundant to work for them again is really very strange. Very strange. Yes, it's on my terms and I'm enjoying working with the people again, but it's a different role I'm doing and that is a bit strange. Seeing my old team doing things in a way that I actually wouldn't want them to do it but not being in a place to say anything is strange, and seeing that the work I did on the reporting system hasn't been maintained is, quite frankly, just insulting given the pressure I was under to change it in the first place.

But hey, it's not by problem. I'm there purely for my own personal gain, and they an do what they want with my work if they choose to. If I could only work out a way to get it back into my possession I could use it this summer ... oh well.

So, all systems go on sorting out my future income. Let's see how it goes ...

Signed off...

2009-05-13T16:02:00.002+01:00

What a difference a day makes, 24 little hours....

I have a contract! And to make it better, it's good money with the company that made me redundant the best part of two months ago! Hahahaha, that was a fantastic phone call to take.

So, I am officially self employed. That's HMRC official and everything. I start tomorrow, will work a maximum of 3 days per week and get paid on an hourly basis. All very exciting and good. And as of this afternoon, I have been signed off the dole. That's right, I am no dole scum. Pauline's restart classes will never happen, I now have a job.

OK, so it's only for a couple of weeks, but I'm really looking forward to it - getting out of the house and talking to people and everything!! And obviously the money will help.

Today I've done a load of sorting out in preparation - contracts, systems, all the good stuff in life. You should see the Excel Spreadsheet I have created to keep track of where I am with payments / invoices etc. All good fun.

Now I will have to sort out taxation and fun stuff, keeping all my invoices and receipts etc but that should be simple enough, shouldn't it ...

It'll be fun ...

Confusion

2009-05-12T09:46:00.002+01:00

After being 'dole scum' for coming up to two months now, and so far I have realised how naive I was when I started the claim. I thought it would be easy, a simple process and I'd be getting regular payments as and when they were promised to me.

So far, I have received two payments. The first, fine - backdated to the date I made my claim. I say that, I presume it is, I can't actually work out the numbers as they don't correspond to the numbers I was told I'd receive.

Then the next payment was 10 days late, and is again not linked to the amount I'm supposed to receive. I apparently have a letter making its way to me letting me know of my new 'benefit amount', but no one on the phone would tell me what it says.

I am, quite frankly, confused.

Now I don't think I'm a stupid person. I have a degree in Economics and Finance, I have spent the last 8 years of my life working in finance and have a reasonable knowledge of it all. Well, give me a company SSAS with three properties in it any day, because JSA is just baffling.

I have watched Jeremy Kyle, and visited the Job Centre, I have seen other unemployed people, and I wonder how on earth these people get what's going on!

I await the arrival of my explainatory letter with baited breath. That being said, I don't think necessarily that it will explain anything, and will probably make me more and more confused.

Getting Older

2009-05-09T10:24:00.002+01:00

Well, it's upon me. This weekend (tomorrow, to be exact) I turn 29. That's right - 30-1. Now I'm not a great fan of birthdays, I always plan something but every couple of years or so I cancel them and end up staying in with a bag of crisps and a bottle of wine. Often it coincides with Eurovision, but this year I'm not that lucky.

It's not that I hate birthdays per se. I think it's like my hatred of New Years Eve - the fact I'm forced to go out and have fun on a particular day of the year just because of the date doesn't sit well with me. I like going out because I have decided to, not because I am exected to.

Yes, I know I'm miserable.

On other side of things, it's been a bit of a strange week. I am now the proud owner of a shiny new laptop, so it's normal service again for my days. Thankfully, as today in checking my bank statement I realised that they DoWP have decided to not pay my Job Seekers Allowance this fortnight, which is an interesting approach to the benefits system.

My 'self employment' is looking good, with word of another company after my services. More on that when I can talk about it, if it happens. I have ordered some business cards (get me! and such a bargain too - 100 for £2.99! (plus £4 p&p...) and have done invoice templates / sorting my letter head etc so I'll be all go when I get a freelancing contract.

Other than telling Revenue and Customs of course, which I will need to do pretty pronto after I find out that I have definate work (which I really need to chase, or I will be running out of time). And speaking to Hackney Council for business advice, although the 'business start up' sessions seem to be very popular. Anyone would think there's a recession on...

Right - I suppose I better head off and prepare for my evening's birthday celebration. Small dinner tonight with a few close friends, then a larger lunch tomorrow over in SW19 so my God Daughter and her little brother can attend.

If I don't cancel of course, it is always a possibility ....

Normal Service will resume....

2009-04-30T20:16:00.002+01:00

... Soon. I promise.

Unfortunately my laptop has died and I have been a bit busy! "Ooh - doing what?!" I hear you cry. Well, a lot of things. I have had a couple of dates with chappy (going well still, yay!); looked seriously into self employment for this contracting malarkey; got another interested company for my services and have been out with my friends.

So, have I learnt anything? Yes.

When then sun shines, london is fantastic.
My god daughter and her little brother are fantastic.
Hackney Library is really good.
Hackney is really good (but I knew that).
Broken laptops aren't good.
Books on London are really interesting.
Marcus Trescothick has written a very interesting autobiography
Lovefilm.com fills my unemployed day
I miss the north east
My mate BenjiBen gets annoyed when I don't mention him in my blog
BenjiBen isn't very inventive when he picks his 'blog' name

On the last point, I am off up there tomorrow for the long weekend, and I cannot wait. Bank holiday weekend basically means that I have packed waterproofs and suncream, but my mate E is coming too, and I can't wait to introduce her to the delights of the Northumberland coast. I will also see my sister and my parents at same time for the first time since Christmas 2007.

Bring it on!!! Laterz ...

Crossroads

2009-04-21T10:19:00.002+01:00

The astute of you will have noticed that my blogs have greatly reduced in frequency since I started back in March (some of you have pointed it out to me politely, some in a manner that could be classed as abusive! ;o) ) but there is a reason for this.

When I started, my life was changing quite rapidly. I was learning things about benefits and daytime tv and all sorts of other fun stuff. however, inevitably that momentum just can't continue. Had I have blogged yesterday, you would have heard about me sitting around for half the day waiting for deliveries. Not necessarily interesting, and as my mother used to say, if you don't have anything interesting to say, don't say anything at all.

So, lets have a recap of the last couple of days. Whilst wandering in the sun on Saturday taking pictures of my local park, I got badly sunburnt (I should have learnt by now...), on Sunday I had another excellent date with chappy and yesterday I got a lovely mobile phone. And some railway sleepers... There you go, that's why I now no longer blog once a day!

From a 'life' point of view, I am now waiting to see what happens in a lot of areas of my life. The lovelife is at a pivitol point with a third date this evening; workwise I am waiting to hear back about a couple of contracting roles with companies that have expressed an interest in me working with them a couple of days a week; benefit wise I now know what my JSA will be (a lovely £10 a week reduction because I have savings ... which I need for university, but never mind) but I continue to wait for information on my housing benefit. Actually, I need to forward the 'landlord declaration' to them for that to happen - I really should do that!

In a week, I could be doing exactly the same as I am doing right now - filling my days with fluff to stop myself from getting bored, or I could be working for quite a good hourly rate to keep the wolves from the door. Who knows.

In the meantime, I'm off for lunch with a friend who works on a self employed basis to pick his brains then off to the Tate Modern. Out with chappy tonight, then lunch tomorrow with my mate L. Plus all the Bejeweled on Facebook that needs to be played, I'm not actually sure how I managed to fit in a fulltime job...

Sunny days...

2009-04-18T10:52:00.002+01:00

... keeping the clouds away.

Well, what a beautiful morning! And what better day to be unemployed in London. London has a bad press quite often for being expensive, but that is just not true. Well, obviously there is the facility within the city to spend a lot of money if your wish is to do so, but there are also a LOT of things you can do for free.

Museums and art galaries are all free, as are a lot of exhibitions. You can walk around some of the best architecture in the country, some good parks and take a walk by the river. There are markets for everything you could possible want to browse through, be that food, clothes or artwork and little gems like City Farms just waiting to be discovered.

And all for the cost of a bus fare.

So today I have a LOADS of options.

Firstly I am meeting one of my ex-colleagues for lunch in our local park, but after that the city is my oyster. Will I go wandering through the greenery or through the streets? Will I take in some culture at one of the galleries or museums?

Let's hope so - I'll take my camera and see how entertained I can be in this city while ensuring I'm spending no money.

Have a good day!

Feeling different

2009-04-15T11:34:00.003+01:00

All of this unemployment malarkey is getting a little bit ... different.

Don't get me wrong - I have done stuff. My room is now almost there (although there are still things to do), I have ordered an upgrade for my mobile (which took far too long), I've been to the gym and I've cooked dinner and drunk wine with E. I have also chased everything I need from my landlord and ex-work for my benefit claim and have looked for some temporary work.

But now, this is getting a little bit dull. I'm missing the banter of an office. I'm missing the 'direction' of having something to do each day. I'm getting a bit bored of having to think of things to do each day so that I don't think I'm wasting my life.

So, I'm going to cook for the house again this afternoon. Possibly do some baking. I'm also going to do my ironing. Yes, they will fill in a couple of hours of my time, but they are fundamentally dull.

Tomorrow, after a meeting about some contracting work with an old boss, I'm either going to the Tate Britain to see the Van Dyke exhibition with Ed (who, as a contracter, chooses to only work part time) or to the Tate Modern on my own if he's playing golf (priorities!)!!

The difference this week is how this all feels. This no longer feels like a holiday, it feels like the summer holidays used to when I was in on my own and had nothing really to do other that coursework (I lived in the middle of nowhere, so there was no escape)...

I am no longer finding the fact I am 'dole scum' amusing.

I'm finding myself justifying my existance to people in a way that I never had to when I had a job. In today's society peoples' employment can form the basis of their status - I know mine did. Yeah, I don't have a partner / children / own a house, but I manage a team of researchers in a wealth management company in the city. Doesn't sound too bad, does it. Take that away and I don't have anything, really, of any note. Yes, in September I will be a student, following my 'dream' of being a radiographer, but for the next five months, I am the person without any purpose other than to be in for deliveries.

So, although there are positives to being a lady of leisure, at the moment I'm just really not enjoying it that much. Maybe it's the thought of this afternoon's visit to the job centre, or maybe it's just because it's not sunny and I need to go back to the gym more to get more endorphins pumping, but at the moment, something will need to change because feeling like this isn't really that fun.

Neighbours and friends

2009-04-12T22:25:00.005+01:00

Everybody needs good Neighbours....

So, just as I was about to embark on a blog about how un-Christian I'm feeling this Easter, something else has inspired me. When I say un-Christian, I don't mean that I'm going out and kicking babies or anything like that - but today is the most Christian day of the year, and it's just a like any other Sunday but without Tesco's being open. Have I spoken to my parents? No. Have I received any Easter Eggs? No. Have I given any? No. Well, not Easter Eggs, I did give D and K a chocolate bar each. Have I given anything to my God daughter? No. Oh well.

I know what you're wondering ... so, what happened to change my mind? Well, today has been a pretty good day. My date (I know you're all wondering!) went really well! He was funny, good looking, intelligent and we got on really. He stated a wish to see me again before I left, so we will see if that happens. I would like it to, he seems really cool - but as we all know, men can be tossers, so who knows what's going to happen! Fingers crossed though.

The second half of my day was slightly more homely. Once back in Hackney, I met D and our neighbours from two doors down in one of our locals for a couple of drinks. I have lived next-door-but-one from these people for the last three years, and today was the first time I have ever spoken to them. Thanks to a bit of fence-mending three weeks ago, we have now talked properly over alcohol and everything! In addition to them being a great couple, it really did get me thinking.

OK, it is not a secret that I love Hackney. I love it to bits. There is more of a community sprit around here than I have seen anywhere else I have ever lived. I know people (albeit by sight) that I used to get the bus with every day- one of them even helped me out when I was getting hassled by a drunk bloke on my way home a couple of years ago.

I don't know if it's because people don't have gardens down here, but Victoria Park is always busy. That's with kids learning to cycle; or teenagers in the nets practicing their bowling; jumpers for goalposts football and the free tennis courts always in use. It is a fantasticly used park. I love it.

In a way, our street has been a bit lapse in that respect. It's a bit too busy. The conversations are often short and to the point. But tonight, something else fantastic happened. Through the door we have received a sunflower seed. Our entry into the K---- Road Sunflower Competition.

Bring it on!

I hope there will be an official measuring party; a chance to meet others from our road who take part. Today I have gone from loving the area I am in to loving the street and community I belong to.

As this week marks 20 years from the Hillsborough disaster, there is no better time reflect on your life and to value the people you love and the people around you. After all, it's the people that make your life what it is, not anything else.

2009-04-12T00:08:00.003+01:00

Well well well - it's Easter Saturday night, and I'm half way though my weekend. So far, it has been great! Or so I thought, before I read my list of things I wanted to achieve this weekend.... and it's not going well.

So - what have I done? Well, from the list, I have arranged a date. Yay! Tomorrow lunchtime it is, so fingers crossed (and I really should get to sleep soon so I don't look half dead)... and that's it.

Oh, and I've done some sorting of stuff - I have filled one bin liner full of rubbish and added stuff to my pile to be shreded, but not actually done any shreding. The doorway of the gym has not been darkened. The Rothko print remains in its box. Yahoo won't allow me to download my previous CV (it has been saved on there for over three years...) and I haven't thought about constructing a new one. As for saving money ...

Yesterday I spent (donated?) £15 to the MCC for the privilege of watching about 5 overs of cricket. That's £3 an over - or 50p a ball! It was like a cricket premium-rate chat line live!!! Ed and I, in trying to fill our day in indoor activities got bored of Backgammon so opted for the cinema and for some food. Thinking I'd get the better deal (sorry, Ed!) I thought I'd pay for the cinema tickets and then he could get dinner.

Of course, cinema tickets in London are by no means cheap. Added to that the additional cost of going to see the film (Monsters Vs Aliens) in 3D - it set me back the best part of £25 for the two tickets!! (And Ed cooked us dinner at his house... *shakes fist in money-spending anger*)

That's a £40 day without taking into account sandwiches, getting to NW8 and back. Or, putting it another way - 67% of my weekly JSA when I get some through.

So, basically, I think to save money my life will have to become more dull than it is. OK, sometimes I don't think it's possible. But I think I will have to go back to backgammon (you better get practicing Ed!!), cricket on the radio (unless I go for the Middlesex thing) and homecooked food. I've already started drinking Spritzers (with soda water obviously) - or dole-fizz as I will now call it!

To summarise, all my other aims aren't too important, but it is ESSENTIAL that I get more of a control of my cashflow. So tomorrow - lunch out with this chap (who's 34, not 32 as previously stated) followed by drinks out with my housemates and our neighbours. So basically 7 hours of spending more money.

Way to go MissTine, great start!!!

What a difference a week makes... or does it?

2009-04-09T15:57:00.003+01:00

So, thanks to laptop problems (still not resolved, unfortunately) it has almost been a week since my last 'update'. I know what you're all wondering - what fun things have filled my life since then?

Well, I've had a couple of lunches; one with E and one with an ex-colleague who might have some short-term work for me in a couple of months; been to see some friends outside London (how good it is to see fields!) and had one very drunken night out. Which was last night. Which is why I'm slobbing this afternoon, drinking Diet Coke and watching the first cricket game on the season tick over on Cricinfo. (DURRRRRHAM, DURRRRHAM...)

So, without going into too many details, there are a lot more things that I haven't done. So here I go, pledging what I will have done before the end of the weekend. Other than watching the mighty Durham play at Lord's tomorrow (assuming the rain stays off), I will:

sort out my bedroom, including getting at least two bin-liners full of clothes to give to charity
hang my rothko print that has been sitting in its box for far too long
shred all the stuff I have that needs shredding
update my cv
go to the gym at least twice
work out how to stop hemorrhaging money
arrange a date!

"A date?!!" I hear you cry, that's right. A date. For the first time in what seems like eternity, I have a potential date. So, not wanting to go into too many details, but he's local, 32 and appreciates the League of Gentlemen. Perfect! Well, maybe not perfect, but there is a bit of potential there so we will see. Who says internet dating is soul destroying? Well, I do actually, but that's not the point.

So as I sit here in the middle of a hangover, waiting for a takeaway place to open and feed me, I have a plan for the weekend ahead (because obviously they are a LOT different to my weeks) and a potential love interest (or even a like interest!). Bring it on!!

Perspective

2009-04-03T23:18:00.003+01:00

Well, if ever there was a day to put life into perspective it was yesterday. I started off getting up early (relatively) and headed out the house at 9:45 (I KNOW!) to go to SW London to see my Laaandan-based family. This is basically a once-removed three-generations of cousins, one of whom is my God Daughter. I know! Me a moral guardian!!

She is lovely. As is her brother. No matter what my worries were at 9am today, watching her playing tennis (I say 'playing tennis' - she is only 3 so it is a sort of variation of it!), singing, reading (ish), running around, running around some more and interacting with dogs, strangers and her little brother, I realised how fun the world could be.

Her little brother, at 1, is equally fantastic. I bought them both a small box of wooden books each, read him 'Mr Tickle' and instead of wanting to hear about Mr Bounce, he took the book away, sat on a bench all on his own and chattered away to himself, looking at the pictures. No matter what those words are, no matter what the story should have read, he was there interpreting his own storyline and loving every minute of it.

So after an afternoon of pure innocence (other than, maybe, the wine that their Mum and I consumed while they had their naps) I have a couple of nuggets to live my summer by:

If you don't like how something reads, make up your own storyline
Getting balls over the net in tennis is not necessary to have a good morning
If you've had a good week, sgo and cuddle a toddler

Riots and Regimes

2009-04-01T20:24:00.004+01:00

As my ex-colleagues dealt with the city riots, albeit from the perimeter, today; I got into a regime. Actually, two regimes.

Yes - I am happy to report that I did go to the gym as planned! OK, so I wasn't up at 8, but it wasn't far off, and I was in the gym by 11, and that was after a bit of a trainer hunt.

So, I walked across my local park, stopping briefly to watch the police horses warming up, and got to the gym. As I approached the door I had a horrible feeling. What if the pass-system has changed since I last went? What if it's totally moved around and I forget where to go? What if I am so unfit I can barely do anything?

As it turns out, the first two of those panics were totally unjustified. My pass still works, nothing as changed and everything is the same. Other than the people that are in the gym on a weekday morning compared to when I used to go. I am a member of one of the few gyms that if you're a member of one you are permitted to go to any in the country, so I used to go to the ones in the city either before or after work so everyone was pretty much the same as me. Today the people were like me in that they have nothing better to do on a Wednesday morning, but the only other way I can describe them is 'meatheads'. Stinky, gym-ites full of steroids and testosterone.

Very few women were in attendance, which I didn't mind as I got change, exposing my far-too-untoned body to the changing room.

The astute of you will have realised that my third worry was therefore justified, and I am so unfit I can, indeed, barely do anything. But it was only my first day, I have set a benchmark below which I never want to reach again, and it's onwards and upwards. But more than that, I'm not going to tell you. That's between me and the meatheads that watched me sweating my way around the equipment. Sorry!

OK, so I was in far too much pain to skip home, in fact the 425 turned up at the bus stop outside the gym at a perfect time; but I had the endorphins I need pumping round by body to cheer me up properly. Which, as it turned out, is what I needed for my trip to sign on.

Regime number two. Signing on every two weeks. What joy. I don't know if it was because it was a beautifully hot day in London today, or whether the other people on my signing on 'cycle' are normally like that, but good god they stank. It was really, really unpleasant. Thankfully I wasn't there for too long (my Job Seeking was more than adequate, in case you were wondering!) but blimey. Has to be done though...

One thing I did learn was that it is 'unusual' for a housing benefit claim to be completed at the same time as a JSA claim. That means that contrary to what I was told on Friday, I may still have to apply separately for that. Thankfully I was given a number to contact them to see what's happening with my claim, or if indeed I have one... something for tomorrow!

Or maybe Friday - I don't want to do too much in one day, and I am cooking lunch for two other 'redundees'. Yeah, Friday....

Onwards and Upwards....

2009-03-31T20:23:00.002+01:00

Right - that's enough of me moping around, it's time for action. So - lets put some structure in place! First - a brianstorm!!!

What do I want to get out of the next six months?

Some money!
Some fun!
Starting my degree refreshed but mentally alert

How do I get money?

Contracting work through my contacts in the City
Job Seekers Allowance / Housing benefit
A fill-in job

How do I have fun?

Visit friends and family around the UK
Cricket!
Taking advantage of the free stuff around London
Reading books I've meant to read for ages
Watch films I've meant to see for ages

How do I start refreshed and alert?

Learn something about anatomy
Look at a coursebook from the Access Science course?
Cut down on the booze
Get down that bloody gym

Right - so that's it. Tomorrow I have to be at the Job Centre early afternoon - which gives me enough time in the morning to get to the gym and make it back to watch the start of the riots on the news. So - I propose the following:

Get up at 8
Eat breakfast (toast, with bread I baked today)
Walk to the gym at 9
Do a workout for at least 45 minutes (it is the first time in a while...)
Come home for lunch
Sign on
Play on my Wii / watch more riots.

Job done! Lets see how it works in practice...

Ooh - and how rude of me! It's been almost a week on and I have not yet commented on the results of my 'what to do next' poll. So, it would appear that it's a tie - travelling around has sadly been ruled out by my requirement to sign on once a fortnight. But cricket is an option, and no doubt I will do some travelling. Although apparently I have to let the JSA people know if I'm away for more than a day ... seems a bit harsh!

Anyway - lets see how my new approach works!

Stuff

2009-03-31T00:38:00.003+01:00

Hello there. So, 'Stuff' is all I could think of to name this post, but with not too much enthusiasm. But then 'not too much enthusiasm' sort of encompasses my last couple of days. I have been shopping and not spent to much, I have been to eateries and not eaten too much. I have been to bed and sadly have pulled the duvet back over my head and been there for a little too long.

This is hard. And I know that is a much over-used phrase, but this is hard. For the first time in my life, I have no structure or anyone telling me to get my arse into gear. My friend Cedric at yougettochoose.com suffers with not being able to make decisions, with me it's worse than that. I don't have decisions to make. I don't have "Ooh - shall I do this or this" - I have "So, it's Monday - what shall I do?"

What's worse - I don't have anyone to even get me out of bed! Or, in fact, anyone with any sexy reason to keep me IN bed, which probably makes this harder. Even without the innuendo, I don't have anyone to answer to about getting up, or to make me go out.

So I'm finding it hard. I went out with my old team tonight, we had a lovely meal at my favourite restaurant and then went on to a pub. They can't drink too much - they have work tomorrow. I shouldn't drink too much (but I tried) - all I have to do tomorrow is be in the city by 6. NOT FOR A RIOT, before you all wonder, to meet one of my best friends for dinner. He's great. It will be lovely. If only I can think of something to do for 9 hours from waking up to leaving the house, it will be perfect.

After my postal delivery of course - Amazon are coming through Royal Mail (as opposed to Shitty Link) to deliver me a Wii Game and a book on London (I got inspired by a documentary on BBC4 about the Baroque period) so hours of fun.

So there we go - that's what I can do. Problem solved. If sitting inside is the best thing to happen to me, of course... I'll look out my gym kit, and that will happen on Wednesday, before signing on and watching the city burn. On that note, to bed ...

Things are looking up ... slightly!

2009-03-28T19:13:00.002Z

After a little panic about the whole Housing Benefit thing, I was very pleased to receive a call from my landlord yesterday and he is completely happy with me claiming housing benefits and the state paying my rent. So thank you, you lovely tax payers are now keeping a roof over my head!

Well, almost... There are a couple of things I need to get sorted and then my claim has to be considered. But at least the claims for HB and JSA is now well underway. For those of you who have any experience of the whole benefit system means that I have filled out the majority of my form (they will let me know if I need to do anything else), and have also completed my Job Seeker's Agreement.

The Job Seeker's Agreement is, from what I can make out, basically my pledge to get off my arse twice a week and look in a paper to see if there is any suitable employment out there for me. And, of course, to log it in my book as 'proof' that I have not just sat around watching Fern Britten mouthing rude words on This Morning. (Which, alas, I missed...)

I'm thinking that they can't check it too closely though. If they do, and you had to put some sort of effort into finding a job, surely all the guests that St Jeremy, the Patron Saint of Chavs, polutes our screens with on a daily basis would be far too busy doing something to have time to sleep with their brother's girlfriend's cousin.

But I have my book, I have signed my agreement and I promise to look on line twice a week to see if there are any paraplanner jobs to apply for. I sign in on Wednesday at my designated time at my designated desk.

In the meantime, I will carry on doing my housemates' chores, and buying the 'sensible' option in Tesco's, and no doubt sleeping in until at least 9:30 every day. And going to job interviews of course, let's not forget about that!

Slap of Reality

2009-03-26T22:01:00.004Z

So. Today I had a little jolt back into the real world. Ordinarily, this would have been a funny (I like to think) post about the state of Hackney Job Centre Plus. Don't get me wrong - it is rubbish. I have never been in a place with so many security guards and I have done Jury Service in the biggest court in the country!

But worse than that - here is the issue. Tomorrow, I'm off to finalise my claim. That is for Housing Benefit and Job Seakers Allowance. JSA - fine; I can cope with that. But with the Housing Benefit, it turns out that it isn't the most reliable thing in the world, and because of that; Landlords don't necessarily have to accept it. As in - the goverment might nor pay them for six months kind of unreliable. So, I left a message on my landlord's answerphone to ask him to ring me. He hasn't as yet.

What if he says no? That means, basically, I'm screwed. Sorry for the language. I can afford it, but it means my savings will be used and, lo! , I will have to get a job. Not even a fun job. An actual job that will pay me some proper money for the next six months.

So there goes my summer of fun - potentially. There goes my summer of cricket. My long term aim, as you know by now - is to start on my Diagnostic Radiography degree in september, and I can't let anything stupid get in the way of that, no matter how fun it could have been.

I will go to the job centre tomorrow. I will see what they say. I will try to speak to my landlord again, but for now - the harsh reality of actually being properly unemployed during a recession is hitting me.

And I haven't even mentioned the G20 summit and being sniffer-dogged at Liverpool Street station...

The next week will be an interesting week, for both the City and the ex-City worker wondering what to do.

Changing habits....

2009-03-25T19:19:00.008Z

Well, I'm almost at the end of Day 1 of my unemployed life, and it's not been bad at all! Admittedly there are a couple of things I didn't manage to do, but I did go ALL DAY without watching any TV!! It's probably a good thing I didn't, I think if I'd have heard Fern Britten's resignation announcement instead of reading it on the BBC website it is quite possible I would have slipped into some sort of mini-depression, not able to see the point of being dole scum without her and Phil entertaining my mornings!

I know what you're all wondering, if I wasn't engrossed in Jeremy Kyle and Diagnosis Murder all day, what on earth was I doing?! In a word - Chores. It would appear that D and K are going to keep me busy over the next six month! I woke up at 10:40 (get in!) this morning to a number of texts. Most of them were from my 'mates' telling me to get my unemployed arse out of bed, but one was from K asking that if I had time could I take her boots that she'd left downstairs to be repaired at our local cobblers. Fair enough, I thought - they're a great couple that run it and cheaper for her than getting them done near where she works.

So, I dragged myself out of bed to find a lovely note from K, along with the required payment and boots, asking for the favour. After she had left for work, it would appear D wanted to get in on the act too, and beside it was :

"Hi. I need a favour too! While you're at the shoeshop, can you please pick
up my dry cleaning from the one on the corner opposite tesco's? All paid for
- a jacket and a tux. I'll be home around 8pm so please have my dinner ready
then.
Thanks, D"

The cheek of some people!!! Anyway, I dutifully sorted all out and there's a Spag Bol on the stove awaiting his arrival... How kind I am. Or 'a mug', as my friend PMcM called me!!!

Also today, I have spoken to the legal advisers though my home insurance (I have a case apparently), done some cleaning and had a nap.

And I went to Tesco's.

This is the first time I have actually noticed a change to my behaviour. I HATE Tesco's. As a result of that, although I still shop there (there are very few alternatives around here) I usually adopt a 'grab and go' approach to shopping. Not today.

Today I had time on my side. Today, although it is payday, I don't have an income so my money is finite. Today, I thought about my purchases. Do I actually need olives? No, and not for £1.69 a tub! Do I need books? Yes - at £7 for two that will provide me with days of entertainment. Do I need wine? Yes. Firstly, I need wine for K, and I also need wine for myself. (Yes, need...)

Here is where I became aware of a real change in my purchasing habits. My 'normal' wine is, at £5.49 a bottle, now too expensive for me to drink. This wasn't a conscious decision, I physically could not pick it off the shelf! So I stated looking at the alternatives.

Oooh - one bottle for £3.50. B*gger - it's Chardonnay. I'm not that skint just yet!

Oooh - a half price bottle! Oh, it was £12, now £6. Ooh, but I bet it's nice ... No, Miss Tine, it is a Wednesday. Find another one.

After a little while, I became aware that I had spent AGES in the wine aisle. We are probably talking about 7 minutes by this time, including the time choosing K's wine (the one she wanted was no longer on offer, so I needed an alternative). That is FAR too long to be staring at labels of wine bottles.

So, I made my choice. I decided that "White Star" should be the name of a cider and not something from the vine, so I went for a Merlot Pinot Grigio at £4.50. I am yet to open it, but I am sure it will be fine.

The one thing I learnt today is that my local tesco's has insufficient cheap wine options, and therefore I need to look into alternatives going forward. Who knows where my quest will take me.

Tomorrow I will sign on, go to sort out my housing benefits and go to the home of the goldfish abandoner 'KC'. I might take her the fish as a flatwarming present just to spite her ... I'm unemployed - I can't afford fish food!!! Maybe not...

Anyway - that's it. I'm sure tomorrow's venture to the Job Centre Plus will be worthy of a blog afterwards! And probably a shower.

Until then, goodbye!

It's over....

2009-03-24T21:38:00.003Z

So - the day is finally upon me and I am now no longer employed by my ex-company. Yes, my employment has been terminated and I am offically out of work. So- I have 2 hours for my sister to benefit from my Death in Service benefit; or to get paid to be sick. OK, so I might have left it a little late for the latter, and sorry S, but although I love you, I have no intention of letting you have that money!! So that's it. As of tomorrow I am unemployed.

It's been a crazy couple of days. Couple Laptop problems with an interesting development yesterday that is resulting in my consulting an employment lawyer (which I obviously can't go into on here or I might get into trouble) ... and it's been an interesting one basically sums it up in the most understated way. Like saying supporting Newcastle can be a bit of a disappointment...

After leaving the office at 10am to have breakfast with another redundee (might not be a word, but I'm sure you'll agree it's effective communication), I had a day to fill. So basically a bit of daytime TV and then headed out into town and ended up seeing my mate Ed. Sorry Ed - you get a name check but E is taken I'm afraid. So some Scrabble (which I won) and piano playing (which he outshined me at) later, and admittedly a couple of tears (I'm the winner with that one!), Ed had somehow managed to put a smile on my face and I headed back to the East End.

So - first afternoon filled. Onto day two.

One thing I did forget to do today was eat between the breakfast at 10 and dinner at 7 - I need to make sure that doesn't happen every day. So what will happen tomorrow? I want to get down to the gym. I have to speak to the lawyer. I need to go to the jobcentre. I want to have a bath. I need to paint my toenails.

What do you think will happen? A lie in followed by Jeremy Kyle, sitting round in my slobs and eating crisps? I'd like to say I hope not, but those of you who know the real miss tine will probably not be too surprised if I do.

But that was the employed Miss Tine. What's the point of slobbing around on your own time? That's what paid holidays are for ....

Sorting out my life ...

2009-03-22T14:31:00.002Z

What a glorious day! And what better way to spend such a day than working out how you're going to pay your rent and eat for the next three years! OK, so maybe that is a bit exaggerated, but there are a lot of things I need to work out.

Firstly, there are things I definitely need to look into. Thanks to the feedback I've had on the old 'to claim or not to claim' issue I have made a decision and agree that, yes - it would be stupid of my to not claim. After all, I have been made redudant and as my friend B pointed out, I wouldn't think twice about taking my state pension, would I! So- although there are a lot of things that can be done online, I think I'll head over to the old Job Centre Plus on Wednesday to look into housing benefits and the old JSA.

Of course with that comes the other benefits and questions ...

Boris offers cheap transport in London for people on Income Support - how do I get that?
There are a load of films I want to see, do cinemas do cheap tickets for the unemployed?
Are there any volunteer type places around that I could help out at?
Could I do any volunteering at the X-Ray department of my local hospital? That would be handy for the studying later in the year...
How do I get myself into the Jeremy Kyle audience? You know, all the important things.

Basically, there are a lot of things for me to look into. Coupled with that, I've got to go to work tomorrow to do some stuff and carry out the 'handover' - so I also have to list everything I do before that too.

So - it could be a busy couple of weeks. That with all the people I want to see, the cleaning I have to do and the gardening that needs to take place. I mowed the lawn this morning, but a lot of stuff still has to happen before it will be the place D, K and I want it to be this summer. Is decking too adventurous ... ?

And I also need to get into my new fitness regime. As Nessa would say, I'm not going to lie to you - I've put on a lot of weight over the last year, and I'm determined to get into some sort of reasonable shape for Summer. I'll go into more details once I start, but I will go down at least two dress sizes and get my old stomach back. That is an 'I Will' you notice, not 'I'll try ...'

Right - I need to go and stir my dinner (good old slow cooker) and make more lunch. Maybe a bath with the Sunday papers before the Dancing on Ice final.

It's a busy life, this unemployment malarkey!

To work or not to work.....

2009-03-20T23:50:00.006Z

So. Before I start, I would like to clear up a few things. Firstly - to my very good friend KC who didn't like me specifying E as my best friend- one thing to say to you, young lady - goldfish. You know what that means, and you know that lumbering a housemate with fish that were purchased on some sort of project whim that you (and you know you did) ran out of enthusiasm with within 4 days is not fair. So it is for that reason you will have to live with my friendly love for another; and at least one of them is still alive 2.5 years later!! ;-)

So - what next. A couple of people have asked me what happened at work. Obviously being anonymous I can't tell you too much - but I was basically working in the city as a manager of a research team for a 'wealth management' company. Those of you who know me will know why the 's are funny. Those of you who don't, won't.

Basically, times are hard. My role (as senior paraplanner...) got made redundant and because I knew of my September plans, I chose not to 'contest the criteria' and I accepted not being an ordinary paraplanner going forward either. In total, something like 20% of people lost their jobs this week, and it has not been fun.

Which brings me to the topic of my post! To work or not to work. On Wednesday I got told that I was a 'candidate for redundancy', and I had to attend a meeting today at 11:30. At the time, knowing that I was leaving anyway I told them that I was happy to go, and that I would "go back to my desk, it is the end of the tax year". Well, what I didn't factor in was that I was speaking in shock, and that they would hold me to that. Whereas everyone else was told to go home, I was asked to work until the 3rd of April.

So - I know that is only two weeks, and that REALLY is not a long time, but actually it is if the sun is shining, no one else has been asked to do it and the people who are putting that guilt trip on you are the people who two days ago told you that you didn't have a role in the company ... it is.

Don't get me wrong - I am a conscientious worker, I love being busy in a 'good way' (you know what I mean) - but if I've been told i'm not needed, it turns out I will stop caring and start looking out of the window. And why shouldn't I?!

BUT - thankfully I got another e-mail a couple of hours later telling me that my last day will be Tuesday. I've got my Stage 3 (...) interview at 9:30 and then, I presume, that will be it. I suppose I should also mention that I have my package, and quite frankly, I'm not complaining. I know that on my poll buggering off around England with a tent is winning so far, but I think I might just get the middlesex membership and sit in St John's Wood for the season.

I could also head up to Durham and join the fantastic Martin Emmerson on the lip-mic, apparently, but I'm not sure that appeals. Firstly, I'm not sure I know enough about cricket ... ;-)

So, I am off. It is well past my bed time and tomorrow it's E's birthday party so I have to be bright eyed and bushy tailed. Until the next time, friends, Adios!

x

To claim or not to claim ... that is the question

2009-03-19T19:25:00.003Z

So - it's just over 24 hours since I was told of the Board's decision. The hangover has not yet subsided, but my first decision is infront of me. To claim or not to claim benefits.

I've just taken an online test, and apparently I will be liable to Jobseekers Allowance (contribution and income based) and housing benefits. So - do I?

Yes, the thought of attending one of Pauline's Restart classes (yes, I've got a pen) doesn't fill me with dread just yet and housing beenfit will at least pay my rent ... but in the cold light of day will I actually want to be lining up outside one of Hackney council's finest institutions all for £60.60 a week? Plus - if I claim Job Seekers allowance by definition I'm going to have to seek a job - and do I actually want one? Do I actually want to have to get up for what could be a small amount of money. Have I not just left a job that I didn't enjoy and therefore should I just enjoy the summer and concentrate on having fun ... ?

But then I've paid tax and NI for eight whole years, and therefore I have earned the right to get something back - otherwise what is the point of having a benefit system in the first place. Oh the decisions to be made.

So- although I was supposed to be working at home today (it is the end of the tax year...) I have done very little work. I have baked bread, and watched a lot of My So-Called Life and had a couple of sleeps. It's been quite an emotional day - I've had a lot of nice e-mails and phone calls from now-ex colleagues wishing me luck and everything like that and I have done a lot of planning. Planning my exercise regime, planning what books to read and planning which friends to visit, but then every now and again it just hits me. I don't have a job. Once I get my pay-off, I will have no income coming in for ages.

And that is scary.

Anyway - back to the benefits. I think I'll have a look at the online thing and see what it says. What's the worst that could happen...

Here goes....

2009-03-19T15:53:00.000Z

Well, here goes. I have decided that my life is worthy of publishing and have created my own blog.

So- who am I? Well, to you my name is Miss Tine. I'm a 28 year old, (very) single, living in a shared house in East London with K and D. My best friend is E, my sister, S, lives in the North West (of England, not London) and my parents are up in the North East. I have been in London for almost 5 years but I am originally from a little town about 30 miles away from Newcastle. I love cricket, dislike football and love nothing more than cold chinese....

Next question - why? Now that's a good question. Yesterday, I was made redundant from my job ... but it's not all bad - I have been offered a place at a university to study diagnostic radiography - something that has appealed for a while. So, I'm here. In my living room in east London with six months to fill..... This will pretty much document what I am going through. Hopefully, it will be a little bit funny too.